Quagzor Chapter 17

Where off we have ‘ere reached along spot in the time line of events that demand a summation of previous passages and interweaving sutures of plot twists that mayhap the lay-reader has lost his merry way down the path towards comprehension. Thusly, it is most behooving to us to informate you of the State of the Quagzor in this story-to-date address.

Quagzor Chapter 16

                OH she had hair of the finest multicolored dreamcoat you ever did seen and eyes like hazelnuts beyond measure and the fiery color of a sunsetting sky speckled with that of peppercorns all hither and thither about. Was not that just so marvelous a sight to mine eyes than any other had come uponx them in a relatively large portion of unreattainable time for it has passed far gone and away now. And as she made her slinkingly swaying way o’er to Drasdenofagus and myself we were both smitten with an unbreakable gaping awe of wonder for her beautified nature.

                Before we knew it her name tingled about our ears as a snablewick would flutter its feathers and all for what but to distract us from her most treacherous intentions. For as we had been lost in gazing so thoroughly at her that were we not experts in the craft of catching evildoings that so oft do befall our heads we surely would have been caught and forsaken in her tangled trap forevermore. But alas and wo begotten unto her for Drasdenofagus, who surely summoned such great will as he e’er did since the mighty Grazel the Grim who dismantled the hearts of men, yet Drasdenofagus did best him in moral combat! And, asfornow, he once more had the courageous strength of head and shoulders above the rest of us and restore this womanly creature out of the evil grasp of that which had claimed her so.

Quagzor Chapter 15

                Forsoothé and so it was that now whence we did travel yonder outward from the great Fairey Forest withé Fairey Queen’s blessings uponx our heads and inside our bosoms then it was there we set forth across the golden plainfields of the Ariendoul. More mostly grassy which was in late fall season now then would be in the harshest of winters yet to come as tolded by mystical fortune tellers in the lowers scandalous corners of the witch-begotten city Farmulnsk.

                Yet this bothered us not so much as the tightness which abided itself in our noses for fret of ill wanted illness had befallen I and Drasdenofagus much to our woeful woe.  But alas this’n’that was none to stop our hardy backs in continuing the magnificent journey of epiq proportions and thusly we tarried naught but speedily swifted ourselves up and away o’er these there grassy plans when for fear of angry Festingurls we had to make a camping on the tarnished groups and bed of the Gallop Stoon Inn, wherewithé inside our eyes could not deceive our minds into tricking them to believe that which we saw for there before us we beheld the most loveliest fair maiden we had yet come across in so many days of hardy travels.

Quagzor Chapter 14

Now withé one swift sweeping gesture as to what would make a normal man being bow low like subservient daffodil flower plant to the eastern winds on Mount Blumpet blown clear o’er the rollingly tall grass Plains of Tash’ierm, yellowed with the seasons blight, and down through Valley Brusslemore till it reached he Forest werewhich now we stood and were tipped forward. Arose she did the Queen Elaine for how solong had she been monarchess o’er these fairey folk of the woods I cannot say but I do for a certainly know the Book of Days Gone By was written seven and several long centuries before the birth of Acron the Desolator, He who smoted the world up and down and back again. She spoke with a faintly voice reminiscent of honeysuckle pixie dust to our ears and we, that is to say Drasdenofagus and myself, did listen with great intent and did obey her every whim with eager minds therefore to come. And she spoke:

“Hark the Harold cometh hare. Enough of a bore t’would spark an interest yet not with thee. But another task have you unfulfilled yet still. Where a wick Beast-Man roameth and ravage thee land far further away than thee spreaded winged eagle canst fly. There shalt  thee findeth thee Quagzor, ravageth and tarnish him till life and soul departeth from betwixt his body and his being. Then there will cometh the hare.” 

Quagzor Chapter 13

A little Bizerwonk did make flighty path beneath our booted foots yet darted sideways with a weebly wooble to ensure its squisehedness was not taken upon its self.

For this was the Fairey Grove,

 Not one but twove.

And uponx thee willows was wove,

A glaring shimmering cove.

Wherewithall thee might didst flee,

As were now were safe from we.

Yet thar on Gammon’s Bane,

Shinned the gleaming Lady Elaine.

Queen of the Forest, Belove’,

For this was the Fairey Grove.

That there was now the song upon the tippied tongue of all the wee forested creatures, every Bizerwonk and Lemongip, and even the people of the forest who were naught as men but lesser in size yet greater in fairness. For many had poked their heads and eavesdropped at our approach for we did cause quite the ruckusly commotion throughout their forestful homes. One side of a fallen great obese tree had collapsed uponx did rise up furthermore than all else In front of our viewfinding eyes and we were lead more mostly by pull of some wrapping force than that of which by our own feet did walk us there. Yet byandby we reached the slanty foot of the highuponhigh throne of the Queen of the Forest Faireies e’er since this’n’that day many many a days gone by ago.

Quagzor Chapter 12

Aghast and was that his name also? For the creature therewithé approximately before oureyes did indeed seem of the netherworld betwixt this’n’that of ours and there’s be neither here inside one, our, but rather caught spliced as it were in each in similitude. Rather that than it be one of the Shodowy Age wance the deamons roamed a free and afreared by man and man-beast alike. Yet it’s festivities could not attract much fanfare from Drasdenofagus worhwithé he strode naught but a hair’s breadth as to facing the creatures gnarled and disfiguratively shappend body. But lo! And might was the bellowed outcry from his lungs passing out his mouth the roar of Ten Thousand Mydringal again upon the hither earth and I was there behind him all to behold this wonder and gape at its delightful spread across the now barren air in front of my fair Drasdenofagus. Pouring out from his bowels a sound no longer came yet the creature had been consumed by the hearty banshee scream and with a firm foot on the ground I didst clasp my comrade’s shoulder and proclaim him Count and Lord upon high Tower of the Bellowing Clan of Agamammoth come again. And his embrace was sure and steady and we knew naught, but that was more than enough for the crystal eye had fallen upon us surely now, though we knew it not and fell deeds were highly probably upon our return to the Fairey Grove.

Quagzor Chapter 11

And once there was no more light for we had penetrated too deeply to record the sunlight to register upon our eyes, did we discover that my talents would be most beneficial for I did there upon that moment cause a gleam to issue worthwithé from my fingertips and extend endlessly in front of us. At least as endlessly as there was a wall and passage featured at some angular degree from whichforthe my light could not bend round for I was not of that exuberant amount of power beyond might. However, Drasdenofagus was assured that he would not be cast into darkness wherefore his eyes could not see because i did propose and grant unto him a firm degree of commitment to our eternally intertwined collective fates. Unbearable as the musktanky odor from the hallways of this Shodowy Tower do be, we needlessly ventured yonder and with great eagerness up and up each single step till yet we did climb even more flighty flight after flight. But fear not and be neither worried for once we had handled each step and counted them twice as much and at last reached the chamber that was there upon the topmost portion of the tower and we beheld ad wondrous and terrible a sight as e’er could be seen by our more or less human eyes.

Quagzor Chapter 10

X marked the spot well far as I could tell you if you were to see it on a map with your own two eyes, but since my writings are not in such pictographical references I cannot allow you to see the X that did mark the whereabouts of our next destination which was to be held at the looming tower overlooking the great and expansive desert of Gerrib. Now we dare not venture to far to the left or to the right off the pathways walking along to the tower for there were most numerously bandits and landloving pirates stranded in this wasteland too far from the sea to even wonder how that there band of jollyrogers did manage to make a home amongst the sandy dunes. Fortuitously for these robbers and thieves thereof we did not stumble over or upon their sleeping persons in the days and nights of our travels even wance we did surround the tower in many footsteps till lo Drasdenofagus came aponx an ugly misshapen shapely rock that made all the others swoon for her. And with a slight investigation in to the how-to-do open and unlocked the hidden gateway to the netherworld inside the Shodowy Tower.

Quagzor Chapter 9

“Blackmailed, she fell off every mountain! And yoth do comen back to visit upon my own grave the great and tremendous fate of the world do and does hang forever afflicted within and intertwined between you and your own fates combined for no other can do what yoth do ponder!” And he shook his head.

And he continued “Withé everybody that yoth find, them that are here for yoth to be the guided an follow an heed their descriptions ere the break of day lest the Deamon Quagzor cometh forth and rent the world in twain! Yoth and heth both do hold now responsible of and for the ending of this’n’that evil which’n has come uponx this Shodowy Earth. Therefore go yoth both out now and away, for hast I naught already instructed he to heed? Fortytwo and six more days! That was what the ghost hast bade. Hereforto the tyme is come and now it is that must needs be your actions in the tower without speedily delay!”

And before me or myself or Drasdenofagus, now come back from his paralysis, could very much react or further question, both our personages where whisked away as to the spirit and the flesh and did see the dark house nor olde sage, Yemansbecka, again evermore.

Quagzor Chapter 8

Oh for how long I had awaited this encounter I daresay I could not relate to you for the many many moons since we did first cross paths that musky morn with the graying clouds overshadowing the mountain pass of Kathronk, dreadful and dire as it may be, and I report firmly that his gnarled visage has become only more twisted and his burnt grey bread now trailed along the floor as his hunched figure did stutter down each step as he approached the very place wherewithé we stood. Drasdenofagus did step forth, armed mightily with his mighty Cleaver, but as even the old sage’s left pinky toe was uplifted in his general direction a great and terribly oppressive force did overcome my weak willed compainion and he did slump to the floor immobilized and my own fate dwindled in the balance.

                Most fortuitously beyond the meager comprehension of mortal worrywarts I did happen to recall as my memory would permit the olde sage’s most above all else sign of peace and gratitude which he did show unto myself that musky morn on Kathronk Pass, and after applying it to the time as of now it did cause most rapidly his boiling rage of Drasdenofagus to cease and he turned to my with a creaking twisted and shouted as to a whisper a dreadful screech….

Quagzor Chapter 7

Withé a knock knock knock and rappa-tap-tap we did make our presence know to the door of which we stood infront of an momentarily later it did swing open wide and behold the order the spewed upon our noses was quite retched indeed! But our noses adjusted quickly as did our eyes to the dimly darkened and mostly mysterious entrance hall before us as we crossed the portal and entered this abode with whole hearted fright. ‘Twas Drasdenofagus whom first reacted with his sword followed by his mouth foul cursing uponx the wicked evil things thereof that had surrounded us as the mystical door snapped shut cutting out our retreat by most any means. And though the evil was nearily come to smite us goodly wanderers on the head I did cry out mightily with the Ancient Tongué of the Forelearned Monks of Stanspanwa and my voice did split the sky asunder within a vortex of utter annihilation. Thusly there was naught left for us to behold of the wretched evil save the dusky gloom, which verily all of a sudden did brighten unto our eyes most immediately for a light had be lighten in the darkest corners of the upper stairway an gradually made its lonesome way creeping along the walls until later rather than sooner we beheld the source thereof.

Quagzor Chapter 6

Alack the days that poem has rung in my ears and this’n’that questions thereof for so I wondered for the space of many many days, even forty two and six days I did ponder it in my heart as Drasdenofagus and I did venture forthwithe, without so much as an inkling about the meaning or message of the aforementioned quatrain. But verily the thoughts of such things would pass away or so I thought but was proven quite undoubtedly wrong as it came to pass I just mentioned the thoughts of my mind to my brain where unanimously singular in purpose for the discernment of such things that I could not, nor my dearest companion could likewise have determined (him being of far less intellectual property than myself if I do say so myself, and I do). 

                Therefore, so it be know I did know of another. And this other whom I may have mentioned in passing to those who perchance asked of his whereabouts or other such nonsense and I did misdirect them for he did not appreciate visitors hardly at all and the last uninvited guest I know of did find himself to be cast into The Pit of No Despair, But Much Anguish and Relatively Little Chance for Escape, dreadful and imaginable place of fear and woe. As so it would happen though I, unbeknownst to even my subliminal conscious, had mistakenly wandered to the very doorstep to the abode of this other of whom my knowledge was not great, but sufficient enough to realize that in his vast understanding he might aid us on our yet to be determined quest.

Quagzor Chapter 5

Putting the world one foot at a time and such was on such companion which was introduced to me approximately at the time which evil befall us, a’fore we smote it roundabout. Amongst such braverado companions was one Drasdenofagus and forever intertwined our fates became when once his life was threatened by the Grazzerfronz a beast to large to see his five arms yet to small to be construed as a dangerous beast of epic proportions, much less an evil overlord of Death and Doom. And becoming of Powers I controlled I did and do have saved his head from certain and utter destruction upon countless days.

                But as past times have gone and now towards the future we would look discerning not, yet understanding less. As we approached the Walled Gate and wondered upon how we could surmount such great heights without hitherto have built a ladder of great magnitude. No, alas we cried woe and spoke a curse uponx the builders of the walls thereof and to our immediate surprise and delight there did soon appear the apparitions of them whom we had cursed! Their unearthly appearance was a grim reminder of the wicked dreadlord  Kazelf the Presumptuous who presumed to have obtained singular control o’er the forces of death and undeath but to which I proved him otherwisely wrong in the foremost thoughts of his mind.

                Yet this creature before us was mightly weaker than said dreadlord and though ghastly would not betray us with his grim demeanor. He spoke, but not as to the tongues of this earth, thusly I did interpret it thereof to be more or less along the lines of a abysmal riddle from beyond the grave….

Fourty two and six more days till the ship doth pass aways,

Fourty two and six more years, that is when the Quagzor rears,

Fourty two and six more days, this’n’that is what shall stays,

Fourty-two and not one more hour, then ne’er again enter the tower.

Forsooth, his ethereal for did vanish into the midst of the night and we were left with misty eyed wonder.

Quagzor Chapter 4

By and by the days go on, besides anyway as I was sayin putting that behind us I meet my good friend Drasdenofagus, his name was long as was his might Cleaver of Heads (which is believed to me to be very self-explanatory but as stupid was as stupid is, and that is stupid, it shall be explained in his own words the voice of Drasdenofagus:

“Was there I was I was and in two out o’ three days next time is bad cause the guys these don’t wanna be Co-operative as the robbery was turning out successful. But as to woe is me that bad got worse and good did turn to bad a man spoke up ands that I says to him is that the last words ye whishes to speak as the tyme had so come the blood was red upon the ground because out came the mighty Cleaver of Heads may beautiful eight foote chopping tool that must other people would call a sword but I call a huge Stabben Choppen Killin tool to kill alls there heads of which I did.”

Quagzor Chapter 3

There was in fact a dead peasant, so his story goes, as I walked forward next to his body and brought him from the gravedigger in this spooky ol’ town o’ Bish Bam Boo. When asked of my trade by the heretofore deceased serf I told him I was just doing a little shopping in a shop which was the whole truth except for that I had severely lied to him and did not speak a word of truth, for it was my cursedness upon myself as the truth I could not say to all but none. In a great and epic conversation destined to go down in the history of the world for its renowned decisiveness and momentous qualities such as a speaker of words to the dead for thusly did he say: 

“And now I forthwithé do Banish ye from hence and hitherto!”

With a Poof! And Splosh! That did end their talk and in my mind his life.

Quagzor Chapter 2

He said that word by which tyme gone by and that Man-Beast did come and spring out up from his ground in firery flames that walk on their own and ate up each man who did not walk to a run then died in firery heap of burn. Quagzor as by now it hast been proposed by your eyes to your brain been said that Quagzor was not a man but an destructive Man-Beast and that I would propose back to you, which would most importantly happen, that indeed is Quagzor a mighty Man-Beast known to be feared and smote by all who he devours. Yet I say boy that Quagzor was once, as all those evil men who say that they became evil, became an evil and badness that the goodness which we saw from him was grand an largely flowing outside his body. But that and this was his greatest flaw as since his goodness could not be contained within him he was Bad and that I say was not good. Into the evil became Quagzor and he did ripout ones heart and ate all, but you were not unhappy for you were dead. That is what has not been forgotten as told to you I approximately just did but from here I know not what the future may hold in this case of death and evil doings.

Quagzor the Man-Beast

An excerpt from the ancient book of Days Gone By:

A time there was when man did walk upon Shodowy Earth, and fear did struck up in them times a day.

That was when the Quagzor came and Quagzor did him in.

But man did fight throughout their night till dawn and dusky day, when Beast Man ate and spate them out in every which’n’way.

That was when the Quagzor came and Quagzor ate him up.

Then wance a man walk by the time and opened up his door, to see the Quagzor standing there and open up and roar.

That was when the Quagzor came and Quagzor did he roar.

So now that man did smote him up and once then smote him down, till Quagzor rent upon the ground and he did see no more.

That was when the Quagzor came and then the Quagzor die.

-Talab Master Scribe-Hand