Quagzor Chapter 16

                OH she had hair of the finest multicolored dreamcoat you ever did seen and eyes like hazelnuts beyond measure and the fiery color of a sunsetting sky speckled with that of peppercorns all hither and thither about. Was not that just so marvelous a sight to mine eyes than any other had come uponx them in a relatively large portion of unreattainable time for it has passed far gone and away now. And as she made her slinkingly swaying way o’er to Drasdenofagus and myself we were both smitten with an unbreakable gaping awe of wonder for her beautified nature.

                Before we knew it her name tingled about our ears as a snablewick would flutter its feathers and all for what but to distract us from her most treacherous intentions. For as we had been lost in gazing so thoroughly at her that were we not experts in the craft of catching evildoings that so oft do befall our heads we surely would have been caught and forsaken in her tangled trap forevermore. But alas and wo begotten unto her for Drasdenofagus, who surely summoned such great will as he e’er did since the mighty Grazel the Grim who dismantled the hearts of men, yet Drasdenofagus did best him in moral combat! And, asfornow, he once more had the courageous strength of head and shoulders above the rest of us and restore this womanly creature out of the evil grasp of that which had claimed her so.

The Duke Chapter 4

The Kathreoul towered over Dallen and swung his oblique cudgel clumsily in a downward arc that splinter a fruit stand to dust and fragments of wood. Pulp shrapnel showered Dallen as he scrambled to the side of the road, but the Kathreoul was relentless. With one step of his giant gait it was upon Dallen again swinging his bludgeon into the upper portion of the building Dallen was seeking refuge under.  Beating aside fallen timbers Dallen rushed around the corner the crumbling house and down the tiny alleyway between the tightly packed buildings. Enraged by his escaping quarry, the Kathreoul swatted aside one of the smaller creatures that now surrounded his legs, but that did not slow their charge.

Dallen hadn’t noticed them at first, so focused was his gaze upon the giant Kathreoul, but as he glanced back while running down the alley he saw them for what they were, Bracchan. Bestial humanoids with protruding snouts garbed in tattered letters and portions of plate mail, carrying all manner of devilish weaponry sprinted after Dallen, though forced to turn sideways in the narrow passage due to their broad shoulders. Still, they were gaining on Dallen even as he quickened his pace. Finally, he broke free of the narrow alley and bolt down the next street, but to his overwhelming dismay another line of Bracchan stood snarling and barking in their hoarse strained voices at him. Behind him the Bracchan chasing him poured out of the alleyway, hemming him in on both sides now another Kathreoul lumbered just a bit further down the road. There was no hope of escape.

Quagzor Chapter 15

                Forsoothé and so it was that now whence we did travel yonder outward from the great Fairey Forest withé Fairey Queen’s blessings uponx our heads and inside our bosoms then it was there we set forth across the golden plainfields of the Ariendoul. More mostly grassy which was in late fall season now then would be in the harshest of winters yet to come as tolded by mystical fortune tellers in the lowers scandalous corners of the witch-begotten city Farmulnsk.

                Yet this bothered us not so much as the tightness which abided itself in our noses for fret of ill wanted illness had befallen I and Drasdenofagus much to our woeful woe.  But alas this’n’that was none to stop our hardy backs in continuing the magnificent journey of epiq proportions and thusly we tarried naught but speedily swifted ourselves up and away o’er these there grassy plans when for fear of angry Festingurls we had to make a camping on the tarnished groups and bed of the Gallop Stoon Inn, wherewithé inside our eyes could not deceive our minds into tricking them to believe that which we saw for there before us we beheld the most loveliest fair maiden we had yet come across in so many days of hardy travels.

Hoble-Jobb's Home of the Death

Uno Day Hoble-Jobb took a walk that made him go down to the sparkling gup-puddle. Thar a magickal Fairey tolded him to’er make a Home and give it the name which it most would sound better than anything else. That name is and was and will be forever is Hoble-Jobb’s Home of the Death.

The Second Paragraph

                It was a day after the first day which the Home was first conceived and tha’ day it was many a magickal place with people who swim and many othar people that are all short and all tall and are all magickal. The Magickal Men Mevershmit wanted a home to live in but the constructor man who had a name with no important meaning but that which I will tell you of any way for his name was Nikoli Haveboolean  but that is not important anyway. So by the way Nikoli was killéd by a Moselinch (a magickal gigantic spidré with eight eye sockets and only one eye so they must kill other creatures and take their eyes to fill their empty holes ad once a Moselinch has eight eyes (which none have ever had since the great Age of Legendary Beasties) it will become a Junjabain (which is just a really huage Spider) and if a Junjabain is coming to this world then any bad happenings will begin to happen and wont stop happening) and so Mevershmit had to send for another constructionor man. However, Mevershmit was almost killed and here now follows the account of Clambib the Shmashen.

Derek the Wanderer 2

When Derek pulled the colorful brown and green cloak from his shoulders in a swirling pinwheel blur the onlookers stood entranced. They had never seen one such as the towering man with his pouches and sacks full of tools and trinkets gathered from the many lands of his travels and explorations (not to mention exploitations). Nevertheless he seemed unamused by their bewildered expressions and tossed a satchel on the table, spilling small gears, levers and other apparatuses across the oak surface. With a collective gasp the crowd oooh’d and awww’d as Derek assembled a small clock right before their eyes with remarkable speed.  In a flash it was over. Somehow, as if through a tremendous force of magickal willpower, Derek had completed the clock already. No one understood it, yet none could doubt what they witnessed. Suddenly, a man at the back of the crowd shouted that he’d buy it for 15 Laranks. Another chimed in at 18 and more and more until the price had pushed up past 4 Sheldumns. Hastily bargaining with the top bidder Derek tucked his now hefty pouch of silver and gold beneath his cloak and moseyed on away.

                Now Darren Kettlesplumb was an honest man so far as honest men could be said to own a shady back alley corner store in the more than derelict district of the magnificent city of Thamond’s Gorge.  Though not one to often pull loose his purse strings there was something unusual about this clock and Darren couldn’t help but desire to get to the bottom of the mystery. He jostled aside the crowd after wrapping the clock gently in cloth and carried the swollen bundle out of the tavern, down towards his shop. Sweeping aside the fine linen wedding dresses, or what appeared as such at first glance, that littered the display table Darren placed the voluminous bundle in their stead with tremendous grace. It had seemed smaller when he first stuffed it inside the sackcloth, but now the pointed edges of the clock could be distinctly seen forcing themselves against the tight fabric. Curious, Darren peeled back the wrappings and to his great astonishment not only had the clock grown in size, but it had also changed. It was changing, morphing right in front of his eyes!

                Now free from its bindings the clock grew rapidly. From its humble beginnings as a funny shaped wooden box it grew, it evolved, developing intricate woodworking along slender lips and ridges. The clock face sprouted golden numerals and the hands elongated into spindly wisps of silver, while the base of the clock elongated and shot up swiftly one, two, five feet into the air. Then, as abruptly as it had begun the growing stopped and Darren was left standing wild-eyed and mouth agape at the grandfather clock now sitting on his tabletop.

                A distant chime told Derek that he had better hastily make his way out of Thamond’s Gorge and wither he will stop next only time shall tell.

Faron 2

Kip flicked a bark chip at Rudyard. Several of them now littered the mans red beard as he snored on his sleeping mat. The beard also had pine needles, dirt, an ant, and some twigs in it. He flipped another one at the large man and sucked in a breath as it hit his cheek. Rudyard made a choking, snorting noise and awoke with a start. He went crosseyed as he noticed more in his beard that he was used to.

“Blast it boy!” he lurched to his feet.

“I was helping the birds! Thought your beard would make the perfect nest!” Kip protested and skipped out of reach.

“Why you child of the infernal woods,” Rudyard tried to cuff the boy but missed and gave way to muttering and brushing the collection of objects from his beard, “you can be sure Faron will hear all about this and the other ways you’ve been abusing your poor uncle Rudyard.”

“Ha, Faron likes me better than you old man!” Kip smirked.

“Oh yeah?” said Rudyard as he grabbed a pinecone his foot came across.

“Why else would he trust only me enough to send me out on important errands while poor old Rudyard is left behind, huh?” Kip quipped.

Rudyard growled. “Heyuh Kip look theres. . !”

Kip turned to glance in the direction Rudyard had indicated and was rewarded with a pinecone pegging the back of his head.

“Awwh Beets!” he said as he rubbed the back of his head and glared at Rudyard.

“You know Kip, you aren’t so smart for a 13 year old. I expected more from you,” he shook his head despairingly.

“Stuff it Rudyard or next time you’ll find the nest made in your mouth,” Kip shot back unhappily.

“Ah well, better than the soup you made last night!” He said cheerfully, “better pack up we need to get moving.”

It didn’t take long to gather up their belongings and pack them onto the horses. The fire pit was buried and all signs of their having stayed there were covered deftly. They couldn’t afford to be lazy, their lives depended on it. Especially now that Faron wasn’t with them.

Quagzor Chapter 14

Now withé one swift sweeping gesture as to what would make a normal man being bow low like subservient daffodil flower plant to the eastern winds on Mount Blumpet blown clear o’er the rollingly tall grass Plains of Tash’ierm, yellowed with the seasons blight, and down through Valley Brusslemore till it reached he Forest werewhich now we stood and were tipped forward. Arose she did the Queen Elaine for how solong had she been monarchess o’er these fairey folk of the woods I cannot say but I do for a certainly know the Book of Days Gone By was written seven and several long centuries before the birth of Acron the Desolator, He who smoted the world up and down and back again. She spoke with a faintly voice reminiscent of honeysuckle pixie dust to our ears and we, that is to say Drasdenofagus and myself, did listen with great intent and did obey her every whim with eager minds therefore to come. And she spoke:

“Hark the Harold cometh hare. Enough of a bore t’would spark an interest yet not with thee. But another task have you unfulfilled yet still. Where a wick Beast-Man roameth and ravage thee land far further away than thee spreaded winged eagle canst fly. There shalt  thee findeth thee Quagzor, ravageth and tarnish him till life and soul departeth from betwixt his body and his being. Then there will cometh the hare.” 

Quagzor Chapter 13

A little Bizerwonk did make flighty path beneath our booted foots yet darted sideways with a weebly wooble to ensure its squisehedness was not taken upon its self.

For this was the Fairey Grove,

 Not one but twove.

And uponx thee willows was wove,

A glaring shimmering cove.

Wherewithall thee might didst flee,

As were now were safe from we.

Yet thar on Gammon’s Bane,

Shinned the gleaming Lady Elaine.

Queen of the Forest, Belove’,

For this was the Fairey Grove.

That there was now the song upon the tippied tongue of all the wee forested creatures, every Bizerwonk and Lemongip, and even the people of the forest who were naught as men but lesser in size yet greater in fairness. For many had poked their heads and eavesdropped at our approach for we did cause quite the ruckusly commotion throughout their forestful homes. One side of a fallen great obese tree had collapsed uponx did rise up furthermore than all else In front of our viewfinding eyes and we were lead more mostly by pull of some wrapping force than that of which by our own feet did walk us there. Yet byandby we reached the slanty foot of the highuponhigh throne of the Queen of the Forest Faireies e’er since this’n’that day many many a days gone by ago.

The Duke Chapter 3

               Upon the high cliffs overlooking the Sea of Serpents on the one hand and Callahan’s Harbor on the other sat a grim castle fortress with lengthily extending towers piercing the clouded grey skies. Ships of all size and shape bustled about in the congested waters even still on this gloomy day for there was much harvesting and trade to be done along the Derelict Coast.  Fisherman, merchants and sea captains each navigated carefully as dock masters barked orders to deckhands who scurried along the piers pushing carts full of equipment and other provisions to and from the moored ships. Dallan Almerieth was nearly crushed under the heavy wheels of one cart clumsily bouncing over the swollen planks of the docks. Scrambling aside quickly he shouted belligerently after the man to no avail and turned once again to his lonely musings.

                After staring at the murky water splash against the barnacle covered pillars supporting the wharf he stood on for some time Dallan’s gaze drifted towards the jagged stony cliffs and he caught a flash of light out of the corner of eyes. A heartbeat later the dreary outer tower of Castle Callahedron rent and plummeted towards the earth. Screams erupted around Dallan who starred in shock at the crest of the cliffs. He was not alone in watching the calamity unfold before his eyes. Even before the first tower had crumbled to the ground a second flash blinded the onlookers and burst through the heavy stone of the main keep, throwing heaps of disintegrating rock spewing over the cliff side, splashing into the harbor waters.   

                Scattered guardsmen ran along the remaining walls of the fortress in some vain attempt at defending the keep from the unseen attackers, but it was not long before the entire castle was engulf in an endless stream of light blinding flashes each hued a slightly different shade of blue.  With an earth shattering wretch the ground beneath the castle was torn asunder and the mass of earth lurched grudgingly over the cliff as if it were a child desperately trying to cling to his mother’s skirts while she was being hauled away by inquisitioners.

The tremendous spray of water and the huge waves spilling of docks snapped Dallan back to consciousness and he started to run into the port district of Fal Talamund.  To his great surprise after going no more than past the first storehouses along the water’s edge Dallan found almost all of the terrified citizens running towards him, back to the harbor. Ducking down an alley to avoid being trampled as wave after wave of civilians rushed on towards the boats moored in the harbor, Dallan sprinted on hoping to reach the boarding house where he roomed  before whatever the others were running from found him. Blessing the Great Sea King for his knowledge of the shady back alleys of Fal Talamund he had nearly reached the apartments when he turned onto a larger street and stopped dead in his tracks.

There, not sixty paces in front of him, stood the looming beastly shape of a snarling fifteen foot Kathreoul, offspring of the Outcast Gods Banished by Tal-Renda from his lofty palace pantheon to roam the desolate lands of earth.

Intro to BroBook

I'm writing this story for my lil bro cuz hes out of stuff to read. Sean insists I post it so here ya go. Enjoy!

 “Beet mulch” Faron muttered as his gaze roiled over the cell room to the bars, then through the bars and around the small, sparsely furnished but orderly room. They found their rest on a spindly man reclining in a wooden chair adjacent a thick oak desk.

 “What was that?” the man crowed. Faron had decided Jasper’s voice sounded like a wheel in need of a good oiling. Sadly enough all of the oil for his voice had found its residence in the man’s shaggy black hair. It hung limply off of his head like rotten seaweed.

 Faron was silent. He had no interest in talking to the spindly sneak. He doubted Jasper could give him the information he desired anyway.

 Faron sighed and leaned against the cold wall. Pretty pathetic that he had evaded the Bermillion guards for years only to be caught by the Anthens the first time he stepped into their territory. He had no quarrel with the Anthens and wasn’t particularly sure why they had one with him. He had reached the conclusion he was to be turned over to the Bermillion Council for a high price. Although it still seemed a bit strange as Anthas hated Berma. But it was 1000 Fresst on his head. A good enough amount of money to tempt nearly anyone. Rudyard had suggested amusedly that Faron would be wise to turn himself in for the reward.

 He smiled slightly. Rudyard.

 “Quit that smirkin over there ya lousy lump of beet flesh,” Jasper yarped, interrupting his thoughts.

 “Anything for you O great Ape,” Faron bowed mockingly.

 Jasper sneared “Don’t get ter thinkin that I cant ring your neck at my pleasure”

 Faron snorted and pulled his hat low over his eyes, “Don’t get to thinking I’d let you.”

 It was at that instant the door swung open and hit the wall with a bang that would throw Faron’s life into an unpredicted twist.

 A barrel chested man with blonde hair and short trimmed beard took in the scene and his cheeks reddened angrily “Jasper you beet skinned turnip! Get out of my seat. Better yet get out of this room! Better yet get out of my sight and don’t even think about coming back for a week, do you hear me?” he shouted.

 Jasper fell out of his seat as he scrambled to get away in terror, “But sir I-”

 “I could snap you into two Jasper, OUT!” he roared. Jasper was out of the door in a split second and the man didn’t waste time in shutting it tightly. He then crossed the room and fell into the emptied chair tiredly.

 “Sick of that man. . If you can even consider him a man. I could swear he was the blood of a worm in him,” he said, turning his attention to Faron who had observed the whole scene discretely from under the shadow of his cap, “and here you are. Faron, the Terror of the Berma Majesties. My name is Lance. I’m the head guard of Antha, and I’m very, very pleased to make your acquaintance.”

 Lance got up with a sigh and pulled out a ring of keys, walking slowly over to unlock the cell.

 “And I am proud to be the first to call you King Faron of Anthas,” he bowed low as he swung the barred door open, “welcome to your kingdom your majesty.”

Quagzor Chapter 12

Aghast and was that his name also? For the creature therewithé approximately before oureyes did indeed seem of the netherworld betwixt this’n’that of ours and there’s be neither here inside one, our, but rather caught spliced as it were in each in similitude. Rather that than it be one of the Shodowy Age wance the deamons roamed a free and afreared by man and man-beast alike. Yet it’s festivities could not attract much fanfare from Drasdenofagus worhwithé he strode naught but a hair’s breadth as to facing the creatures gnarled and disfiguratively shappend body. But lo! And might was the bellowed outcry from his lungs passing out his mouth the roar of Ten Thousand Mydringal again upon the hither earth and I was there behind him all to behold this wonder and gape at its delightful spread across the now barren air in front of my fair Drasdenofagus. Pouring out from his bowels a sound no longer came yet the creature had been consumed by the hearty banshee scream and with a firm foot on the ground I didst clasp my comrade’s shoulder and proclaim him Count and Lord upon high Tower of the Bellowing Clan of Agamammoth come again. And his embrace was sure and steady and we knew naught, but that was more than enough for the crystal eye had fallen upon us surely now, though we knew it not and fell deeds were highly probably upon our return to the Fairey Grove.

Quagzor Chapter 11

And once there was no more light for we had penetrated too deeply to record the sunlight to register upon our eyes, did we discover that my talents would be most beneficial for I did there upon that moment cause a gleam to issue worthwithé from my fingertips and extend endlessly in front of us. At least as endlessly as there was a wall and passage featured at some angular degree from whichforthe my light could not bend round for I was not of that exuberant amount of power beyond might. However, Drasdenofagus was assured that he would not be cast into darkness wherefore his eyes could not see because i did propose and grant unto him a firm degree of commitment to our eternally intertwined collective fates. Unbearable as the musktanky odor from the hallways of this Shodowy Tower do be, we needlessly ventured yonder and with great eagerness up and up each single step till yet we did climb even more flighty flight after flight. But fear not and be neither worried for once we had handled each step and counted them twice as much and at last reached the chamber that was there upon the topmost portion of the tower and we beheld ad wondrous and terrible a sight as e’er could be seen by our more or less human eyes.

The Duke Chapter 2

Orellion’s image descended into the midst of the crowd facing the Duke. Covered in fur clothe that from a bear’s hide no less, with galvanized steel pauldrens about his shoulders and hanging from the specter’s back the fabled Scarlet Cleaver, the great war axe forged by his father, the High God Tal-Renda, from the fires of Mount Hexellar and quenched in the mythical springs of the Tearsore Isles.  And Lord Orellion cast his gaze o’er the multitude and then fixed his gleaming eyes upon the countenance of the Duke.  Undeterred, the Duke bowed in submission and raised his voice unto his King.

“O, my Lord Orellion, Keeper of the Southern Gate of Heav’n, we bid thy grace upon us. What is it you would have us do?”

And Orellion’s lustrous visage flickered with a deep fire that burned them, yea all those where they stood, unable to move for it surrounded and encompassed them completely. He spoke not yet all who stood heard and obeyed, even the Duke did question his orders naught and thusly they descended from the mound and the flowers upon which where scorched black.

Quagzor Chapter 10

X marked the spot well far as I could tell you if you were to see it on a map with your own two eyes, but since my writings are not in such pictographical references I cannot allow you to see the X that did mark the whereabouts of our next destination which was to be held at the looming tower overlooking the great and expansive desert of Gerrib. Now we dare not venture to far to the left or to the right off the pathways walking along to the tower for there were most numerously bandits and landloving pirates stranded in this wasteland too far from the sea to even wonder how that there band of jollyrogers did manage to make a home amongst the sandy dunes. Fortuitously for these robbers and thieves thereof we did not stumble over or upon their sleeping persons in the days and nights of our travels even wance we did surround the tower in many footsteps till lo Drasdenofagus came aponx an ugly misshapen shapely rock that made all the others swoon for her. And with a slight investigation in to the how-to-do open and unlocked the hidden gateway to the netherworld inside the Shodowy Tower.

Quagzor Chapter 9

“Blackmailed, she fell off every mountain! And yoth do comen back to visit upon my own grave the great and tremendous fate of the world do and does hang forever afflicted within and intertwined between you and your own fates combined for no other can do what yoth do ponder!” And he shook his head.

And he continued “Withé everybody that yoth find, them that are here for yoth to be the guided an follow an heed their descriptions ere the break of day lest the Deamon Quagzor cometh forth and rent the world in twain! Yoth and heth both do hold now responsible of and for the ending of this’n’that evil which’n has come uponx this Shodowy Earth. Therefore go yoth both out now and away, for hast I naught already instructed he to heed? Fortytwo and six more days! That was what the ghost hast bade. Hereforto the tyme is come and now it is that must needs be your actions in the tower without speedily delay!”

And before me or myself or Drasdenofagus, now come back from his paralysis, could very much react or further question, both our personages where whisked away as to the spirit and the flesh and did see the dark house nor olde sage, Yemansbecka, again evermore.

Quagzor Chapter 8

Oh for how long I had awaited this encounter I daresay I could not relate to you for the many many moons since we did first cross paths that musky morn with the graying clouds overshadowing the mountain pass of Kathronk, dreadful and dire as it may be, and I report firmly that his gnarled visage has become only more twisted and his burnt grey bread now trailed along the floor as his hunched figure did stutter down each step as he approached the very place wherewithé we stood. Drasdenofagus did step forth, armed mightily with his mighty Cleaver, but as even the old sage’s left pinky toe was uplifted in his general direction a great and terribly oppressive force did overcome my weak willed compainion and he did slump to the floor immobilized and my own fate dwindled in the balance.

                Most fortuitously beyond the meager comprehension of mortal worrywarts I did happen to recall as my memory would permit the olde sage’s most above all else sign of peace and gratitude which he did show unto myself that musky morn on Kathronk Pass, and after applying it to the time as of now it did cause most rapidly his boiling rage of Drasdenofagus to cease and he turned to my with a creaking twisted and shouted as to a whisper a dreadful screech….

Quagzor Chapter 7

Withé a knock knock knock and rappa-tap-tap we did make our presence know to the door of which we stood infront of an momentarily later it did swing open wide and behold the order the spewed upon our noses was quite retched indeed! But our noses adjusted quickly as did our eyes to the dimly darkened and mostly mysterious entrance hall before us as we crossed the portal and entered this abode with whole hearted fright. ‘Twas Drasdenofagus whom first reacted with his sword followed by his mouth foul cursing uponx the wicked evil things thereof that had surrounded us as the mystical door snapped shut cutting out our retreat by most any means. And though the evil was nearily come to smite us goodly wanderers on the head I did cry out mightily with the Ancient Tongué of the Forelearned Monks of Stanspanwa and my voice did split the sky asunder within a vortex of utter annihilation. Thusly there was naught left for us to behold of the wretched evil save the dusky gloom, which verily all of a sudden did brighten unto our eyes most immediately for a light had be lighten in the darkest corners of the upper stairway an gradually made its lonesome way creeping along the walls until later rather than sooner we beheld the source thereof.

Quagzor Chapter 6

Alack the days that poem has rung in my ears and this’n’that questions thereof for so I wondered for the space of many many days, even forty two and six days I did ponder it in my heart as Drasdenofagus and I did venture forthwithe, without so much as an inkling about the meaning or message of the aforementioned quatrain. But verily the thoughts of such things would pass away or so I thought but was proven quite undoubtedly wrong as it came to pass I just mentioned the thoughts of my mind to my brain where unanimously singular in purpose for the discernment of such things that I could not, nor my dearest companion could likewise have determined (him being of far less intellectual property than myself if I do say so myself, and I do). 

                Therefore, so it be know I did know of another. And this other whom I may have mentioned in passing to those who perchance asked of his whereabouts or other such nonsense and I did misdirect them for he did not appreciate visitors hardly at all and the last uninvited guest I know of did find himself to be cast into The Pit of No Despair, But Much Anguish and Relatively Little Chance for Escape, dreadful and imaginable place of fear and woe. As so it would happen though I, unbeknownst to even my subliminal conscious, had mistakenly wandered to the very doorstep to the abode of this other of whom my knowledge was not great, but sufficient enough to realize that in his vast understanding he might aid us on our yet to be determined quest.

Quagzor Chapter 5

Putting the world one foot at a time and such was on such companion which was introduced to me approximately at the time which evil befall us, a’fore we smote it roundabout. Amongst such braverado companions was one Drasdenofagus and forever intertwined our fates became when once his life was threatened by the Grazzerfronz a beast to large to see his five arms yet to small to be construed as a dangerous beast of epic proportions, much less an evil overlord of Death and Doom. And becoming of Powers I controlled I did and do have saved his head from certain and utter destruction upon countless days.

                But as past times have gone and now towards the future we would look discerning not, yet understanding less. As we approached the Walled Gate and wondered upon how we could surmount such great heights without hitherto have built a ladder of great magnitude. No, alas we cried woe and spoke a curse uponx the builders of the walls thereof and to our immediate surprise and delight there did soon appear the apparitions of them whom we had cursed! Their unearthly appearance was a grim reminder of the wicked dreadlord  Kazelf the Presumptuous who presumed to have obtained singular control o’er the forces of death and undeath but to which I proved him otherwisely wrong in the foremost thoughts of his mind.

                Yet this creature before us was mightly weaker than said dreadlord and though ghastly would not betray us with his grim demeanor. He spoke, but not as to the tongues of this earth, thusly I did interpret it thereof to be more or less along the lines of a abysmal riddle from beyond the grave….

Fourty two and six more days till the ship doth pass aways,

Fourty two and six more years, that is when the Quagzor rears,

Fourty two and six more days, this’n’that is what shall stays,

Fourty-two and not one more hour, then ne’er again enter the tower.

Forsooth, his ethereal for did vanish into the midst of the night and we were left with misty eyed wonder.

Quagzor Chapter 4

By and by the days go on, besides anyway as I was sayin putting that behind us I meet my good friend Drasdenofagus, his name was long as was his might Cleaver of Heads (which is believed to me to be very self-explanatory but as stupid was as stupid is, and that is stupid, it shall be explained in his own words the voice of Drasdenofagus:

“Was there I was I was and in two out o’ three days next time is bad cause the guys these don’t wanna be Co-operative as the robbery was turning out successful. But as to woe is me that bad got worse and good did turn to bad a man spoke up ands that I says to him is that the last words ye whishes to speak as the tyme had so come the blood was red upon the ground because out came the mighty Cleaver of Heads may beautiful eight foote chopping tool that must other people would call a sword but I call a huge Stabben Choppen Killin tool to kill alls there heads of which I did.”

The Duke

     Across the expanse there rested a mound. And encompassed about it was sprung several flowers of various assortment, neither white nor black, but plentiful in variety as the rainbow. Further along was the Fence, none were allowed within the gate save its keeper and, as one would reckon, the Duke. Hearken, for the Duke cometh nigh!

     Dressed as a pauper to the pope, with a red striped vest and black clothe rob that cascaded around his feet and trailed behind him along with his caravan of retainers and servants slithering betwixt him and the crowd gathered on this day.  As he approached the gate, the warden bowed ceremoniously and unlocked it swiftly.  The Duke stood in the center of the gateway and turned to face the audience gathered roundabout. After studying their countenances for a time his lips parted and he spoke.

“Dearest brethren, forgive not those who came against thee, suffer not their transgression, for the day soon cometh when we shall reign again over thy aggressors. We have the key, and they will despise thee for it, yet ultimately, victory shall be ours. Listen! He may be manifest unto us…”

And thus a hush fell over them all and the skies dimmed and upon them a light descended. While the crowd gazed in awe the Duke new it to be Orellion, King of Kings…

Quagzor Chapter 3

There was in fact a dead peasant, so his story goes, as I walked forward next to his body and brought him from the gravedigger in this spooky ol’ town o’ Bish Bam Boo. When asked of my trade by the heretofore deceased serf I told him I was just doing a little shopping in a shop which was the whole truth except for that I had severely lied to him and did not speak a word of truth, for it was my cursedness upon myself as the truth I could not say to all but none. In a great and epic conversation destined to go down in the history of the world for its renowned decisiveness and momentous qualities such as a speaker of words to the dead for thusly did he say: 

“And now I forthwithé do Banish ye from hence and hitherto!”

With a Poof! And Splosh! That did end their talk and in my mind his life.

Derek the Wanderer

Derek the Wanderer once stumbled over a great log from which a rabbit ran out the hollowed side and darted downward towards the briar patch. Unknowingly the rabbit accidently trampled over a serpent that had been slithering along in search of a tasty treat but upon being stepped on let out a great hiss. This inadvertently terrified a nearby dove on the low hanging tree branch directly above the serpent and caused the dove to fly away in fright eastward with the wind whereupon it landed on a shoddy chimney of a house in the village of Gnarlesburry. Now the chimney being poorly constructed and left without maintenance for the space of many years gave way under the weight of the obese dove and thereby collapsed with a great crash.  Bricks lay scattered about and the entire side of the cottage was in shambles, much to the dismay of the poor family that lived there. However, one unfortunate brick had struck the backside of a passing horse hauling a coach which drove him into an uncontrollable sprint down the main thoroughfare of the town. Upon reaching the town square, narrowly avoid several accidents to this point, the horse and buggy finally made an abrupt end to its race by slamming into a farmer’s giant pumpkin stand. As pumpkins and debris flew through the air, a great panic erupted and townsfolk scattered hurriedly to avoid being pummeled by falling produce. Amidst the commotion no one scarcely notice a disturb lantern had been knocked from its perch and smashed on the ground, igniting a gargantuan bushel of hay. The fire quickly spread to the nearby buildings and was carried on by the wind through the wooden buildings of the town faster than its citizens could organize and fight the flames. It was about this same time that Derek finally reached the end of the forest path and beheld the terrible crisis before his eyes. Fortunately, Derek was well versed in the ways of the wind and the water of yore and caused a tremendous storm of rain to fall upon Gnarlesburry, extinguishing the fire almost as quickly as it had begun. After dispersing the storm the townsfolk raised Derek upon their shoulders shouting praises and showering him with what little fortunes they still had remaining. Sadly, after enjoying the fine people’s company for only a couple of days, he was forced to speedily flee the village after an unwitting string of unrelated incidents implicated that Derek had spent an evening with the mayor’s young and very attractive daughter (this in fact was true, but the conclusion was reached through faulty evidence, hearsay and the appearance of a strange, furry goat). And so Derek the Wanderer traveled onward and wither he will stop next only time shall tell.

Quagzor Chapter 2

He said that word by which tyme gone by and that Man-Beast did come and spring out up from his ground in firery flames that walk on their own and ate up each man who did not walk to a run then died in firery heap of burn. Quagzor as by now it hast been proposed by your eyes to your brain been said that Quagzor was not a man but an destructive Man-Beast and that I would propose back to you, which would most importantly happen, that indeed is Quagzor a mighty Man-Beast known to be feared and smote by all who he devours. Yet I say boy that Quagzor was once, as all those evil men who say that they became evil, became an evil and badness that the goodness which we saw from him was grand an largely flowing outside his body. But that and this was his greatest flaw as since his goodness could not be contained within him he was Bad and that I say was not good. Into the evil became Quagzor and he did ripout ones heart and ate all, but you were not unhappy for you were dead. That is what has not been forgotten as told to you I approximately just did but from here I know not what the future may hold in this case of death and evil doings.

Quagzor the Man-Beast

An excerpt from the ancient book of Days Gone By:

A time there was when man did walk upon Shodowy Earth, and fear did struck up in them times a day.

That was when the Quagzor came and Quagzor did him in.

But man did fight throughout their night till dawn and dusky day, when Beast Man ate and spate them out in every which’n’way.

That was when the Quagzor came and Quagzor ate him up.

Then wance a man walk by the time and opened up his door, to see the Quagzor standing there and open up and roar.

That was when the Quagzor came and Quagzor did he roar.

So now that man did smote him up and once then smote him down, till Quagzor rent upon the ground and he did see no more.

That was when the Quagzor came and then the Quagzor die.

-Talab Master Scribe-Hand

Entreat the Coming Storm

One day a happy little man named Quwam Mandou came upon a great and terrible Jorganstien. This big and scary beast is most formidable and quite evil. It terrorized the village Saradom, devoured countless sheep and cows of the surrounding farmlands and laid lo the thriving city of Garth.  Now Quwam was by no means a renowned hero.  He hadn’t slain the swampy-thing of the misty marshes, nor had he rescued Princess Dazia from the wretched witch Harlumheckler, neither had he even defeated a wizard or sorcerer or any type of mythical beast in mortal combat. Yet Quwam was determined to end the terrible Jorganstien. 

It was perhaps the warmest day mid December had yet seen in an hundred and ninety and five years, and so Quwam dressed lightly not even donning his warm scarf of his mother’s own sewing. But there he did take with him the hunting blade and bow of his forefathers, which he had long since been using for the purpose of hunting small furry animals in the forest yet catching none. Yet the Jorganstien drew near and the small farm on which he and his community lived was in great and terrible danger and Quwam set forth to deliver justice upon the beast.

Now the Jorganstien was a very formidable foe. Fangs of ivory hung from his wide mouth and gaping jaws. Claws sharper than a cutting blade were upon arms as burly as a great bear. His legs were thicker than a strong tree trunk and tail extended far beyond out his back, laced with spikes the entire length.  His under belly was scaly and rough, whilst the hide of his back grew dense and coarse as hard stone. Now as for its alligator like head and bulging bright blue slanted eyes, none could stand the sight and much live long for afterwards. Even the brave man of the watch, Clemsun did verily let down his sword and scurry away as he were a rat. 

And here we do find Quwam and Jorganstien face to face and man to man, with no recourse or any second to either take their place nor provide assistance.  And upon Hill Westgate outside the small commune of homes gathered together in this lush landscape did they stand as such with singular intent towards one and the other. First with the bow followed suit by the dagger did Quwam make his aggression know unto his enemy. But lo! The Jorganstien was swift and elusive and did flee from the strikes of his detractor and with his tail did he swipe at him again. Fearful, Quwam did dash yet could not escape the monster’s strike as the spiked tail lashed into his side inflicting grievous injury.

Thus we saw Jorganstien towering over Quwam with a death stare and Quwam shrinking away thusly. And as the beast raised its jagged claw above his head Quwam did spy an most opportune opening and did plunge his dagger quickly betwixt the monster’s ribs, penetrating it to the heart.  And Wo! The cry escaping from the mouth of the Jorganstien was shrill indeed as it were a banshee. And it fell crushing the ground beneath.

But where, where hath our hero gone?

Alas upon the earth does he lie, and in his blood he does die. But they shall remember him who fain slayest the Jorganstien upon dread hill than see his village devoured thereby. And in the second year after which the tempest raged onward through the land, the people did erect a monument in tribute to his everlasting sacrifice that they might have peace again. Carved of granite ore and engraved upon it was his name and there beneath it did commemorate him and credit him as: 

“Hero and Slayer of the ferocious Jorganstien, fey creature of darkness and dread.”

And when again the fell beast rises where now shall we look and see the mighty Quwam with bow and knife, standing forward upon the hill awaiting the approaching storm and defending hearth and home for life?

The End.

Introductions, of course introductions...

There was a time in high school or perhaps middle school (the days blur together and seeing how our middle school was under construction and grades 7-12 were crammed together in the same building it is easy to mix up specific dates) when my two closest friends and myself were each writing our own stories, our own prospective novels as it were.   Now the one of us actually took his writing seriously and devoted a substantial amount of effort into his work and has subsequently gone on to Harvard and greater things than I can well comprehend, while still maintaining the same drive and desire of writing he's always had. On the other hand my second friend lost all many writings when our "computer lab" was renovated and as far as I am aware has not written the like since.

As for myself, well, I still have the notebook where many of these bizarre and peculiar stories unfolded as well as a folder containing their extended works and short tales. However, recently I have again started writing similar short excerpts similar to these thrilling narratives I once wrote. Therefore, the intent of this "blog" is to archive and document these past, present and future works for all the world to see and to know and to judge as they deem fit.

I, without restraint or hesitation, do solemnly swear to write and to post that which I am inspired  to do so by the Almighty (or at least my own judgment) with fullness of heart and eagerness of quill and unabashedly pledge this God bearing witness, Amen.

Sean P. Troy